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Many, many thanks to Spubba for designing and producing my title frickin' awesome!!! :D

Friday, January 27, 2012

An evening from hell

Yesterday started great; hunnybun and I were able to sleep in a bit together (I was working from home and he had the day off to attend some appointments).  We schnuzzled until about 7:50am and it was great.

My working day wasn't too bad, either; at lunch time I went out to grab myself a new wireless keyboard and mouse combo with the gift certificate hunnybun had given me for xmas.  (I chose the Logitech MK550 and yeehawwww I love this keyboard!!)

The day was fine...until a late afternoon call with my client from hell.  The one that should have been turned over to support about a month ago.  The one that kept quiet about their laundry list of issues until the moment I tried turning them over.  Them.  A-holes. Anyway, this is when the headache began.

Once I finally finished work at 5pm I began preparing (aka psyching myself up) to follow a recipe for steak that I found online, which involved putting the cast iron pan into the oven while it pre-heated to 500F, then you take the pan out and put it on the stove (with the burner on to keep it hot) and throw the (lightly-EVOO'd, salted) steaks in for 30 seconds per side.  Then you're supposed to toss the entire thing into the still-500F oven for 2 mins per side.  These times are for a steak that is 1.5" thick.

Now, I had two t-bone steaks that were about 1/2" thick, but regardless, I was preparing...psyching myself up to perform this dance at this point.  The steaks were still in their packaging on the counter, warming to room temperature, and I was still re-reading the instructions about 5 more times to make sure I got it all memorized so I wouldn't need to run back to the laptop with this 500F pan in my hand (no, not really!).

A short while later, head pounding a little more and lights really starting to bother my eyes, I decided it was time.  Time to rinse the steaks and let them drip in the collander while I put some salt into one tiny bowl and some EVOO into another.  So I did, as the oven was pre-heating with the pan inside it.  As I went through the motions with my hands, my brain was wondering about the logistics of it all.  I mean, two raw steaks...I'm to lightly coat them with EVOO...and place them where??  Then salt each side, just like in the video, and, but wait, then I have to take the 500F cast iron pan out of the oven and get the steaks into it right away, and...ouchie my brain hurt.

So I decide that I'm going to place the steaks onto the glass cutting board we have.  I lay them there and check the temp on the oven.  Almost there.  I use my fingers in the bowl of EVOO and rub some all over the steaks, then I grab pinches of the Kosher salt and rub it all over...quickly wash my hands and the oven is now 500F.

Quickly I grab the oven mitts and carefully take the pan out.  As soon as I saw the smoke rise out of the open oven door that's when my headache turned into a migraine.  Oh boy.  This is not going to be good.

The pan is now on the stove and I quickly lay one steak in it...then the second one.  As directed, after about 30 seconds (I wasn't counting), I took the tongs and lifted the first steak to flip it over.  The bloody thing was STUCK to the pan and little shreds of meat remained stuck while I peeled the rest away to flip it.  Oi.  Same thing for the other steak.  Then the smoke alarm starts blaring.  Jesus!!  My eyes are going to explode out of my head!!  In a split-second of panic I'm not sure what to do, but I go to the front door and open it to get some fresh air in.  I'm standing there, waving the door back and forth to pull the fresh air in, and I go back to the stove to put the pan into the oven.  Well I tried picking it up, oven mitt on my right hand, and the bloody thing was so heavy there was no way I could single-hand it.  Cripes.  Both hands now gloved, open oven door resting against my leg, I put the pan in and close the door.  Now the alarm is really killing my ears and I see which alarm it is.  I can reach the hush button on it if I jump!  Yay!  I finally shut the fucking thing off.

Then I have the chance to open a window in the dining room to help with the air flow (because the front door is still open).  I get back to the stove and the alarm goes off again.  OMFG!!!  I shut the damn oven off, run for a chair to get the alarm down, and rip the fucking batteries out of it.  FINALLY, silence!  I don't know how to describe the feeling in my head at this point, but believe me, I was NOT in the mood to be eating steak!!

I put the oven back on, but at 440F this time.  I leave it alone for a minute and then open the door to flip the stupid steaks.  After a short time I turn the oven off and take the pan out with both hands gloved.  I just sit it on the top of the stove.  I close the front door and the dining room window.  After all that, I practically force myself to at least try the steak.  Apparently I put WAY too much salt on it, so it's ruined.  FUCK!!!

I ate a couple of bites anyway (had to try the crispy fat) and gave up.  I left it there and went to lay on the couch until hunnybun got home.  Ugh.

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