It's time to take charge...AGAIN. (FAIL)

Beginning tomorrow morning, no more fucking around with my food intake.  My legs, stomach, and back are all itching like crazy and I wonder if I'll get any sleep tonight.  It's driving me nuts.

Tonight I made a nice prime rib roast and followed this recipe.  It turned out pretty damned good (thanks to the electronic meat thermometer we have) and the side of brussels sprouts were nice as well (I cooked them in a covered casserole dish in a bath of previously-made beef broth, onions and garlic).  MIL asked if there were also a side of yams and DAMMIT I didn't think of that.  One side was all I made.  Woops. :)

Anyway, for dessert we had half a cake that was bought at the grocery store last night.  A traditional, sugar-laden cake with lots of creamy frosting, chocolate shavings, and even chocolate-covered malt balls on top.  I had a tiny slice with my coffee (yes, with fucking cream in it).

As of tomorrow, no more crap.  And we're going to our friends' house for dinner, so this will get interesting.  I have no alcohol to drink, and that's just as well, because I'll be drinking water.  And I'll get ridiculed for it, because that's just the way they are; how can you be having a good time if you're not blasted on something?  Whatever.  This is the friend that works out for 2 hours a day so she can eat junk food all the time and not get fat.  This is the friend who had the lap band surgery before.  She sure as hell ain't skinny, but I guess she enjoys torturing herself.  Oh well.  That's her problem.

An evening from hell

Yesterday started great; hunnybun and I were able to sleep in a bit together (I was working from home and he had the day off to attend some appointments).  We schnuzzled until about 7:50am and it was great.

My working day wasn't too bad, either; at lunch time I went out to grab myself a new wireless keyboard and mouse combo with the gift certificate hunnybun had given me for xmas.  (I chose the Logitech MK550 and yeehawwww I love this keyboard!!)

The day was fine...until a late afternoon call with my client from hell.  The one that should have been turned over to support about a month ago.  The one that kept quiet about their laundry list of issues until the moment I tried turning them over.  Them.  A-holes. Anyway, this is when the headache began.

I feel like shit.

My eating habits....well, hunger pangs are out of control. I am a slave to sugar and salt and Philly cream cheese onion chip dip. (Christ, it's so bad, just typing that makes me want to go buy some and down a large bag of dipped chips.)

I feel that my eyes and my tongue are in cahoots to sabotage my health and weight-loss that I experienced last year. I've only gained 5 lbs of it back, but it looks like it's all in my belly and I hate how fat it makes me feel. Last summer I almost thought I could see a glimmer of hope; a smaller belly with the possibility of one day having a flat belly again. I almost saw definition in it. Almost.

Then I got lazy. Again. I don't feel like doing much of anything and while I wish I felt like exercising more, I just don't feel like I have the energy. Of course I blame that on all the shit I've been eating lately. AND the rum and Cokes just about every night. Why can't I stop myself? Why????????? I'm even having trouble choking down the fish oil and calcium magnesium tablets!

We moved to a 'new' (older) house this summer and bought a new gas range too, however, I can't seem to get back into the swing of cooking. For shame, it's been almost 2 months and the most action it's seen is the frying pan with bacon and then eggs cooking in it. Actually, no, the MIL came by last month with her infamous apple crisp and needed to bake it in our oven. Of course.

I'm having trouble staying satiated for long as well. I need more fat in my diet and the chicken skin (from a crockpot-roasted bird) is not enough. Today I ordered a 1-gallon tub of Nutiva coconut oil so that will help.

When I open the fridge I want to dig in to the chocolate cream pie that's in there (yes, that was my doing as well). When I have bones to put in the organics-waste bag in the freezer, I see three tubs of sugar-laden ice cream and I groan inside my mind but I close the door. I have to be in a special mood to want ice cream.

I wish I had taken a picture of the bird in the crockpot - it was a beautiful sight. I cook it breast side down and when trying to turn it over to take its temperature the luscious dear just fell right apart. God, it was good. I have one more bird to cook this way (next week; don't want to get tired of chicken) and I promise to take a picture then.

My career goal is to become a certified health & safety professional and my brain is starting to remind me that I need to practice what I preach. I don't want to be a walking contradiction. Now if only my eyes and tongue would cooperate...

Roast...messed another one up. :(

I try. And I'll keep on trying. Next time I'll watch it closer and take its temperature more. Or maybe I'll put the meat thermometer right in there and leave it in there. I don't know. I just hate ending up with a dry, over-cooked roast. It sucks.

Anyway, here's what it looked like. I cooked it in the oven at 250F with some water and seasonings in the bottom of the pan. The good news is that the gravy (which I reduced in a pot after it was done cooking) turned out AMAZING.




We had a big salad to go with the roast, but ended up with quite a bit left over, so this morning I cooked up some bacon and we had bacon salad for breakfast!