You can do it!

As stated in my last post, I had made the decision to "cut the (plantain) crack" cold turkey...and by golly, it worked!!  Sometimes the brain just takes you seriously when you tell it how it's going to be.  Amazing!

I haven't touched a single plantain chip since, and really haven't had the desire to.  I've even walked by them in the grocery store and kept going.  Determination is a wonderful thing. :)

That's IT. This addict is DONE!

If you are a returning reader you probably know about plantain crack.  That is, these little snack bags of spicy plantain chips under the brand name Fat Cats.  Well, for the past x number of months I've had a bag of these pretty much every day.  They're THAT good.  And addictive!

Occasionally, I'll be naughty and consume TWO bags in one day; it's happened maybe 2-3 times within the past month.  Now, while I could certainly be consuming something far worse, but I really feel a bit like a hopeless crack addict when this happens.  It happened again today, when I wasn't even hungry.  I was in the kitchen and the thought of these delicious chips popped into my head (I was standing near the shelf where I store the grocery bag of them in quantity).  Once that happens, there's no hope.  I'm eating those fuckers and enjoying every bit of it.

I hopelessly watched my hands grab the LAST BAG.  Then I felt myself walk over to the drawer to get the scissors and slice the top seam off.  I was on frigging auto-pilot, man.  It was at that moment that I decided that this was the last bag I'm going to eat and we're not going to buy any more, DAMMIT!!

This last bag was devoured hours ago and I feel afraid.  Afraid of what I'll eat for breakfast at work if I'm not devouring a bag of these chips like usual.  Wow.

Well THAT was fun...not.

Food journals suck.  There.  I'm not doing that anymore because it's like writing a book report -- torture.

Yesterday was a weird day - my appetite kept telling me to feed it, even though I wasn't really hungry, and I blame my tongue for wanting flavours of various kinds on it.  Flavour slut.  We'd had eggs for breakfast.  Then a bit later I tried shutting my tongue up by having a couple small pieces of 75% chocolate with PB on it.  It shut it up for about 5 minutes.

After trying to ignore it for a bit I decided to get some fat into me - that's supposed to satisfy hunger for awhile, right?  Took some lovely chicken broth gelatin from the fridge and warmed that up to drink.  Tasty as all hell, but freaking salty because when we cook our chicken thighs we coat them in EVOO and seasoned salt.  Anyway, tasty goodness.  That didn't last.  My brain and tongue were chanting "PLANTAIN CRACK!  PLANTAIN CRACK!!"

Again, I found myself on auto-pilot to get a bag of said crack and munched away, GUILTILY, while I did some review for my upcoming exam.  I love the taste of the spices on the plantain chips, but wow, are they ever addictive (hunny, don't you DARE take these away...I will hurt you).

I seemed to be okay until dinner after the bag of crack, thankfully.  Dinner was a boneless pork rib roast with bacon-wrapped asparagus as a side.  I couldn't eat all that much of my dinner, but somehow I was full/satisfied the rest of the night.

This morning my tummy was rumbling, so I had my coffee and will wait for the Sunday morning usual breakfast of bacon 'n eggs.  Mmmm.

In other news, my nasty rash has reappeared, but it's different this time in that it's not in the usual spot (underarms); it's mostly on my tummy and waist.  Check it out!

It's so bad at times that just pushing my fingernails into it will give me goosebumps.  Then of course I have to drag them across it a bit, but I've been experimenting with tea tree oil on it.  It will take away the sensitivity for a little while (and reduce the redness) but if I don't reapply within an hour or two it's back to square one.  Guess I'd better keep on top of that.

Well I'll be damned...

I forgot to mention what ELSE I purchased yesterday!  I popped over to Medium Rare at lunchtime to see if I could snag some of their pork lard and yep, they had some.  I bought one container for now, but I later wondered "isn't this pretty much the same pork fat that I have in a mug in the fridge from cooking bacon??"

Anyway, it was $8 so I didn't mind trying it out.  I asked (again) if they had any beef fat available AND THEY DID!!  They had a few scraps to throw in a bag for me, NO CHARGE.  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!  Happy me drove back to work and put the stuff in the fridge.

On another note, I've been somewhat upset lately that our grocery store had run out of my plantain chip-crack fix (spicy flavour) and SURPRISE, hunnybun sneakily grabbed three bags that he happened to notice while there yesterday.  The only three bags they had of the spicy.  One bag was already demolished this morning.  He's so sweet.  :)

That's alright...I'm okay...

I guess I'll be lost again for one more day...

Not really - it's just lyrics to a song that's in my head right now:

Love Big Wreck...anyhow, just thought I'd check in with a few random tidbits for those who want to know.

- My weight today is 145.2.  I'm happy about that, and a bit surprised since I have been inhaling a whole bag of these every day this week!  (Can you say WEAKNESSSSSSS?)

- Last night I cooked up a couple of strip loin steaks using the method that previously set off the smoke alarm and threw me into a migraine headache.  This time I was better prepared and also had the assistance of hubby.  The steaks were a little over-cooked but were still quite good.  I love how flavourful the fat turns out using this method.  Next time I'll just take them out of the oven sooner and we should be good.

- I'm finding that I really don't like the taste of coffee lately, especially with the chocolate-flavoured almond milk in it.  When I use cream (preferably 18%) it's at least a little bit more drinkable, but if it weren't a caffeine addiction I wouldn't bother with the stuff.  I do like having something warm to drink, though, which helps my stupid mouse voice become audible.

- My new desk at work is working out great - I love it to bits!  I found that I actually had it a bit too high when standing and it was causing some tingling/numbness/cold feeling in my right elbow.  Things are better now, but I really have to do something about my home computer desk, sooo...

- I ordered a GeekDesk electric height-adjustable desk base for home and it's on it's way!!  It should arrive this week (YAY!), so I really need to get my butt to Ikea to grab a table top to complete it.  My current computer chair creaks with almost every movement so that will likely be my next purchase.

- We've recently gotten into watching Sons of Anarchy (a friend gave it to us on DVD) and I can't believe how addicted I am to this show.  It's absolutely fantastic and the acting is top-notch.  We've come very close to tears on a couple of occasions already and last night I was caught off-guard with a stunner of an ending.  Christ, I hate it when major characters you like a lot are suddenly killed off.  I was traumatized!!  Ugh...  Anyway, this is just testament to how good the whole series is so far.  Next up is the second episode of the third season.  Thank GROK Monday is a holiday!!  :)

- My dad is recovering from a really bad cold and is still eating crap food.  Can't say anything about diet because my step-mom is a nutritionist.  *sigh*